there is something really soothing about watching make up tutorials
Because maybe relationships don’t have to fulfill everything for everybody. Maybe you are right in wanting less, and I am being overly demanding in wanting something serious. We are filled with these ideas that we are guaranteed some kind of romantic happiness, that the universe owes us a person who wants us in the way we want them, but maybe that’s ridiculous. We aren’t even guaranteed a tomorrow, and there isn’t much sense in denying ourselves the pleasures we could be experiencing because we imagine we’re being chaste for some reward which will never actually come.
So be mine, just for today. Don’t listen to the nagging voice at the back of your head which insists that every romantic gesture must be followed by an even more serious display of long-term care. We can enjoy each other’s company, even if that means two different things for each of us. We can pretend at the kind of love we might have had in another set of circumstances, treat each other with the velvet gloves that people who are more in love than us do. We both know how to do it, we’ve both done it before. There is nothing wrong with dressing the sex up with a bit of romance, even if we know it’s just a few props littering an otherwise-blank stage. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m willing to take my empty emotional calories. I want to eat the junk food imitation of real sentiment. And I want to do it with you."
So how about this: We stop talking
altogether, put a check mark in the
‘finished’ box and label this a win.
I mean it’s not like we’re going any
further with this thing. We are
stunted growers; we have hit our
relational glass ceiling.
Or how about this: We continue
on as if this will be good for us.
Because loneliness is bitter and
we don’t have to be ‘together’ to
pass sugar between our mouths.
We will sail as co-captains knowing,
at some point, one of us will jump
ship for a prettier vessel. It doesn’t
matter that it will leave the other
alone and shipwrecked.
But how about this: You realize that
the way you love me doesn’t come
around often and that you should
give up your pride and be with me
because it would make both of us